Radiation Day One

Why does time always fly by when something you dread is coming up. I was hoping to be able to relax for the weekend before having to go back to the radiation clinic, but the weekend was not good. I guess once you let the panic out it is really hard to get your emotions and fears under control. The emotions that had been kept in check behind my wall of determination could no longer be kept inside once the wall was broken. Everything felt like it was spinning out of control. On Saturday, I began to panic again and had to leave my apartment so I could breathe. I wish they had given me more Xanax because I sure could have used one that day, but they only gave me a few to get through the cat scan. I made it through the weekend and by the time Tuesday came, I was feeling normal again. 
I had radiation in the morning and an appointment with my Oncologist in the afternoon. At this point I was still under the impression that I needed five radiation treatments, and I was able to tell myself that I could get through five treatments. I got to my appointment and was taken in to the radiation room. The technicians got me situated on the table and then they were ready to start treatment. They left the room and turned off the lights, they were able to talk to me from their console. The radiation beam only lasts a couple of seconds and after each dose the technician would come in and change the setting on the machine. The machine rotated around me first over me, then to the right side, under me and finally to the left side. I was so proud of myself for getting through the treatment without panicking. After the treatment I had to speak to Dr C. I was taken to an examination room and waited for the doctor. 

Finally the doctor came and let me know that I had just had the first of 28 treatments. I protested that I was only supposed to have five, but he assured me that it was 28. I was going to be seeing my Oncologist that day so I would bring it up with them later. I was told to wait because someone would be in to give me some materials and talk about radiation side effects. A nurse came in and gave me some literature about radiation and told me about side effects that I could get. 

Common Side Effects

Many people who get radiation therapy have skin changes and some fatigue. Other side effects depend on the part of your body being treated. Skin changes may include dryness, itching, peeling, or blistering. These changes occur because radiation therapy damages healthy skin cells in the treatment area. You will need to take special care of your skin during radiation therapy. To learn more, see"Skin Changes". Fatigue is often described as feeling worn out or exhausted. There are many ways to manage fatigue. To learn more, see "Fatigue". Depending on the part of your body being treated, you may also have: Diarrhea Hair loss in the treatment area Mouth problems Nausea and vomiting Sexual changes Swelling Trouble swallowing Urinary and bladder changes Most of these side effects go away within 2 months after radiation therapy is finished. Late side effects may first occur 6 or more months after radiation therapy is over. They vary by the part of your body that was treated and the dose of radiation you received. Late side effects may include infertility, joint problems, lymphedema, mouth problems, and secondary cancer. Everyone is different, so talk to your doctor or nurse about whether you might have late side effects and what signs to look for. See "Late Radiation Therapy Side Effects" for more information on late side effects. (www.cancer.gov)

I was to let the doctor know if I experienced any of these side effects, and I was to use aloe vera gel on my skin at the points where the radiation beam was aimed to keep the skin from blistering. 
After this I headed over to my Oncologists office. I told the doctor (not my main doctor, but one that was training under her) that I had been told (by him)  I needed only five treatments of radiation and they wanted to do 28. He assured me that was correct and apologized if he had given me incorrect information. I was not happy with the situation and I was about to get even more unhappy. I was told I needed chemotherapy, but only five doses. He said it would only take about an hour. I refused! No way was I doing chemo! I did not want to lose my hair!! I was already kind of mad at him for misleading me about the radiation, intentional or not, no way was I giving in on the chemo! He called in my main doctor to speak with me, Dr R. explained that the chemo would work with the radiation for a more effective treatment. She also assured me that I would not lose my hair, it was, as she called it "little girl chemo" or I guess you could call it chemo lite. I reluctantly agreed to do it and I needed to go to the hospital the next day to start. I was given a couple of prescriptions to fill that day for Xanax (yay!) and an anti nausea medication.  
I headed home a little overwhelmed. Chemo and radiation...I had seen pictures of people that were going through treatment and I could honestly say I was a little scared. What would happen to me? What side effects would I get? Would I be really nauseous? I did not know what to expect and I did not even have time to get used to the idea. Tomorrow I started chemo.......