I was laid off from my job of 22 years in January of 2011. I was initially upset because I did love my job and enjoyed doing it, but I realized that I could use a little time off to continue recovering from my cancer. I was still pretty tired and having time to recover would be great. After a few months of recovering, I was not just sleeping I was working on my resume and doing some initial job hunting or more likely figuring out what I wanted to do, I began applying for jobs. I did not get any responses to my applications and wound up redoing my resume and rethinking the kinds of jobs I was applying for.
Job hunting is way more exhausting and stressful than working. I would rather have a job and work that to hunt for one any day. The economy did not help since there were more people applying for jobs than jobs available. I do admit I was and still am pretty stressed out about finding a job. I have had to expand my search and try to figure out other jobs that I can do. Now I have many years of retail experience and I could probably get a job in retail easily....the only problem is the dress code. OSHA requires that people in certain industries, like retail are required to wear closed toe shoes so that you don't drop anything on your feet and hurt yourself. The problem I have is my lymphadema, anything that covers the top of my foot causes pain. The top of my foot always feels like it is bruised. The next problem is my toes, they kind of point up so the nail hits the toe of the shoe and makes the nails feel tender. I have been on a hunt to find closed toe shoes that don't cause problems. I have looked for the softest material, the kind with the most give, but every time I think I have found a pair, it never works out. I know you are thinking, get a size bigger, I have done that and also wider shoes. Nothing seems to work. So, I continue to wear my sandals all year round...good thing I live in Southern California. It really does not help in my job hunt. So I need to find an office job....so the search continues.....
Monday, June 30, 2014
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Time Flies
Wow! I can't believe my last post was almost two years ago. It seems like yesterday that I wrote that post. I did stop writing for a little while because I was spending most of my time searching for a job. I was getting to the end of my resources and I was not really getting any responses to my job applications. I was on my computer almost every waking hour. It was almost like I was afraid to get off the computer because that could be the time that a job would come along. I know that is not logical and that I really needed to get off the computer occasionally for my own mental health. Unfortunately, I did not listen to my own advice and spent even more time on the computer, if that was possible. Well the months went by and I was getting more desperate. Then I had a thought, I have a 401k that I could cash out or borrow against, like I said, I was desperate.
I cashed out my 401k in April. With this money, I should have another year to find a job. Things don't always turn out the way you plan. I got the check in the mail, I was so relieved. I drove down to the bank and deposited the money, then I decided that I wanted to get some lunch on the way home. I decided on KFC, I pulled my car into the drive through lane and then it happened....I had one of the worst panic attacks that I have ever had. I made the cars in the drive through lane back up so I could get my car out...I got out of my car and I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest....I was shaking so hard and could barely breathe. I must have stood there shaking for at least a half hour and then started to wonder how I was going to get home. I would need to get back into my car ......that thought nearly sent me back into a panic. I decided that maybe a distraction would help me get home without sending me back into a panic, so I went into KFC and got the food that I had been planning to get. I got back into the car, putting on the seatbelt was out of the question....I nibbled on a biscuit while I drove, it distracted me a little bit...at least enough to get home.
This was my worst and most long lasting panic attack ever. I was unable to drive for the first week after my attack, after that I was barely able to get to the grocery store that was a block away. It took me more than a month before I was able to get a couple of miles down the road without panicking. It took three months to be able to get to a friend's house, only using side streets. There were other effects of this panic attack too, it created the biggest and most long lasting creative block that I have ever experienced. I could not create my jewelry, I could not write my blogs or anything else, and worst of all, I was unable to look for a job without setting off another attack. All that money to give myself more time to find a job and now I could not even do that! My stepmother needed some help doing administrative work for her real estate company, so at least I had some work, though not enough to live on, but at least it was some money coming in and I felt like I was at least doing something.
Other than that, I was still dealing with the creative block. Finally, towards the end of the year, I was able to start job hunting again. Still no luck, but I was trying to keep calm and not get myself into the same situation as last year. I found out my Mom was going to come and visit me in March, for my birthday. I started to panic and try to figure out how I was going to get to the airport and pick her up....I had not been on the freeway since before my panic attack, so more than a year! I kept running scenarios in my head, but I knew I would somehow have to brave the freeway, it was the best way to get there. I guess I was lucky that my Mom's flight was delayed and would not be in until evening...the freeway was relatively empty! I was able to pick her up and while she was here we drove all around. Now I did take side streets to get to wherever we went, I was not going to attempt the freeway during the daytime! My problem was not being in the car, my panic starts when the car is stopped in traffic or at a light. I will still not get onto the freeway by choice, but I do feel a little more confident.
I am still looking for a job, but in May I found out that my cat has diabetes. Now I sure did not have the extra money to pay for a trip to the vet and the tests and medications, but I had to find some way to help my cat! He was getting to the point where he had trouble walking, and all the research that I did pointed to diabetic neuropathy. I have a lot of cat friends on facebook and I have seen them do auctions and things to raise money for vet bills, and I thought that would be a great idea! I could ask for people to purchase my jewelry and put the money to Loki's bills. I have a lot of awesome friends that made purchases to help my cat. Now the problem was my creative block...I had forced myself to make a few things during the holidays, but nothing that was creative or felt right. Somehow, knowing this was for Loki just broke my creative block, I was getting ideas again and I was enjoying creating new designs. I can't believe it took a year for me to be able to create again. As you can see by this post, my other creative impulses are coming back. I am still looking for a job, but maybe things are looking up. I had my first job interview two weeks ago...I think that things may turn around for me.
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
I cashed out my 401k in April. With this money, I should have another year to find a job. Things don't always turn out the way you plan. I got the check in the mail, I was so relieved. I drove down to the bank and deposited the money, then I decided that I wanted to get some lunch on the way home. I decided on KFC, I pulled my car into the drive through lane and then it happened....I had one of the worst panic attacks that I have ever had. I made the cars in the drive through lane back up so I could get my car out...I got out of my car and I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest....I was shaking so hard and could barely breathe. I must have stood there shaking for at least a half hour and then started to wonder how I was going to get home. I would need to get back into my car ......that thought nearly sent me back into a panic. I decided that maybe a distraction would help me get home without sending me back into a panic, so I went into KFC and got the food that I had been planning to get. I got back into the car, putting on the seatbelt was out of the question....I nibbled on a biscuit while I drove, it distracted me a little bit...at least enough to get home.
This was my worst and most long lasting panic attack ever. I was unable to drive for the first week after my attack, after that I was barely able to get to the grocery store that was a block away. It took me more than a month before I was able to get a couple of miles down the road without panicking. It took three months to be able to get to a friend's house, only using side streets. There were other effects of this panic attack too, it created the biggest and most long lasting creative block that I have ever experienced. I could not create my jewelry, I could not write my blogs or anything else, and worst of all, I was unable to look for a job without setting off another attack. All that money to give myself more time to find a job and now I could not even do that! My stepmother needed some help doing administrative work for her real estate company, so at least I had some work, though not enough to live on, but at least it was some money coming in and I felt like I was at least doing something.
Other than that, I was still dealing with the creative block. Finally, towards the end of the year, I was able to start job hunting again. Still no luck, but I was trying to keep calm and not get myself into the same situation as last year. I found out my Mom was going to come and visit me in March, for my birthday. I started to panic and try to figure out how I was going to get to the airport and pick her up....I had not been on the freeway since before my panic attack, so more than a year! I kept running scenarios in my head, but I knew I would somehow have to brave the freeway, it was the best way to get there. I guess I was lucky that my Mom's flight was delayed and would not be in until evening...the freeway was relatively empty! I was able to pick her up and while she was here we drove all around. Now I did take side streets to get to wherever we went, I was not going to attempt the freeway during the daytime! My problem was not being in the car, my panic starts when the car is stopped in traffic or at a light. I will still not get onto the freeway by choice, but I do feel a little more confident.
I am still looking for a job, but in May I found out that my cat has diabetes. Now I sure did not have the extra money to pay for a trip to the vet and the tests and medications, but I had to find some way to help my cat! He was getting to the point where he had trouble walking, and all the research that I did pointed to diabetic neuropathy. I have a lot of cat friends on facebook and I have seen them do auctions and things to raise money for vet bills, and I thought that would be a great idea! I could ask for people to purchase my jewelry and put the money to Loki's bills. I have a lot of awesome friends that made purchases to help my cat. Now the problem was my creative block...I had forced myself to make a few things during the holidays, but nothing that was creative or felt right. Somehow, knowing this was for Loki just broke my creative block, I was getting ideas again and I was enjoying creating new designs. I can't believe it took a year for me to be able to create again. As you can see by this post, my other creative impulses are coming back. I am still looking for a job, but maybe things are looking up. I had my first job interview two weeks ago...I think that things may turn around for me.
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
It's Officially Fall!
It's finally here! Fall has arrived! The temperatures are still high, with the occasional beautiful day thrown in to tease me before it gets warm again. I guess that is what fall is like, summer is still fighting to stay but fall is pushing summer away! I can see the days getting shorter, the sun is going down earlier which means less sunlight and less time for the heat during the day.
I did start working on getting the last of my cleaning list done. I wanted to wash all my towels and redo the linen closet. I picked a cooler day and pulled out all the towels. I had a basket of laundry and wanted to wash my sheets and blanket too. I put in the first load and went about my morning, once it was done I put the laundry in the dryer and put a new load in the wash. It was a beautiful day and I like to lean on the rail and look down on the little stream under my deck. As I looked down, I saw a massive stream of ants trailing across the bottom of my deck. I ran inside to get the ant spray and get rid of them before they made it up to my deck. I sprayed the bottom of the deck and then it became a horror story. Every time I would look somewhere, I saw ants. They were everywhere! There was a line of them running up the wall, when I followed that stream, there were hundreds on the beam over my deck running across it. I would spray every time I saw a trail of ants. I sprayed the wall, then I sprayed the beam, then I looked over and they were all over the ceiling of my deck and running into the cracks under the roof! I sprayed and sprayed, the wind was blowing so I was covered with ant spray and I am sure they were dropping down on me as they died. Once I was sure I had sprayed everywhere I jumped into the shower! I have never felt so itchy and creeped out! I did not venture back out on my deck until the next day. There were still a few ants, but they were dying from all the bug spray. I hate ants!
I gave up on washing all the towels that I had pulled out of the cabinet, and the temperatures were supposed to be pretty warm, forget warm -- it was going to be hot! Hot is was, the temperatures were over 100 degrees. On Friday it was 106 and Saturday it was 102. How horrible! I did absolutely nothing, I did not even leave the house.
Now it is the third week of September and I have started updating my Infoarmy reports for quarter 3. I was planning on getting two updated a day that way it would not be overwhelming the week they were due. It has been working out pretty well. I have eleven reports updated for quarter three.
One thing that I don't look forward to in the fall are the allergies. I have mild allergies and usually I may have a day or two when I have issues. This year is different. I started feeling allergies coming on, for me that means my front teeth start hurting. My lower sinuses always become inflamed and cause pressure on the nerves of my teeth. I did take some Benadryl, but the post nasal drip was so bad that I got a really bad cough. I hate coughing. Since my surgery I have stress incontinence, which means that I lose some urine in stressful situations. Coughing is extremely stressful. So I was not only coughing, I was running to the bathroom constantly. By Saturday I thought I was feeling better, so I cleaned the refrigerator and freezer. I felt great that I got that done, but by Saturday evening I was developing a sore throat and really did not feel well. I spent Sunday resting and recovering from overdoing it. It was a good move and by Monday I was feeling better.
Now it is the last week of September. I have until the end of the week for quarter three to end and I will not only have to work to get the rest of my reports updated, but as senior researcher, I will have to approve the updates that have been made to the reports that I am senior researcher on. My plan is to get all my reports updated this week, that way next week I only have to work with the senior researcher to get my reports updated and work with primary reports that I am senior researcher on. I did get quite a few updated today. Updating does not really take a lot of time, you are only really updating some of the information for any changes or additions for the current quarter.
The temperatures are supposed to be warm again this weekend, but I am hoping that things will start settling into the lower temperatures soon....
I did start working on getting the last of my cleaning list done. I wanted to wash all my towels and redo the linen closet. I picked a cooler day and pulled out all the towels. I had a basket of laundry and wanted to wash my sheets and blanket too. I put in the first load and went about my morning, once it was done I put the laundry in the dryer and put a new load in the wash. It was a beautiful day and I like to lean on the rail and look down on the little stream under my deck. As I looked down, I saw a massive stream of ants trailing across the bottom of my deck. I ran inside to get the ant spray and get rid of them before they made it up to my deck. I sprayed the bottom of the deck and then it became a horror story. Every time I would look somewhere, I saw ants. They were everywhere! There was a line of them running up the wall, when I followed that stream, there were hundreds on the beam over my deck running across it. I would spray every time I saw a trail of ants. I sprayed the wall, then I sprayed the beam, then I looked over and they were all over the ceiling of my deck and running into the cracks under the roof! I sprayed and sprayed, the wind was blowing so I was covered with ant spray and I am sure they were dropping down on me as they died. Once I was sure I had sprayed everywhere I jumped into the shower! I have never felt so itchy and creeped out! I did not venture back out on my deck until the next day. There were still a few ants, but they were dying from all the bug spray. I hate ants!
I gave up on washing all the towels that I had pulled out of the cabinet, and the temperatures were supposed to be pretty warm, forget warm -- it was going to be hot! Hot is was, the temperatures were over 100 degrees. On Friday it was 106 and Saturday it was 102. How horrible! I did absolutely nothing, I did not even leave the house.
Now it is the third week of September and I have started updating my Infoarmy reports for quarter 3. I was planning on getting two updated a day that way it would not be overwhelming the week they were due. It has been working out pretty well. I have eleven reports updated for quarter three.
One thing that I don't look forward to in the fall are the allergies. I have mild allergies and usually I may have a day or two when I have issues. This year is different. I started feeling allergies coming on, for me that means my front teeth start hurting. My lower sinuses always become inflamed and cause pressure on the nerves of my teeth. I did take some Benadryl, but the post nasal drip was so bad that I got a really bad cough. I hate coughing. Since my surgery I have stress incontinence, which means that I lose some urine in stressful situations. Coughing is extremely stressful. So I was not only coughing, I was running to the bathroom constantly. By Saturday I thought I was feeling better, so I cleaned the refrigerator and freezer. I felt great that I got that done, but by Saturday evening I was developing a sore throat and really did not feel well. I spent Sunday resting and recovering from overdoing it. It was a good move and by Monday I was feeling better.
Now it is the last week of September. I have until the end of the week for quarter three to end and I will not only have to work to get the rest of my reports updated, but as senior researcher, I will have to approve the updates that have been made to the reports that I am senior researcher on. My plan is to get all my reports updated this week, that way next week I only have to work with the senior researcher to get my reports updated and work with primary reports that I am senior researcher on. I did get quite a few updated today. Updating does not really take a lot of time, you are only really updating some of the information for any changes or additions for the current quarter.
The temperatures are supposed to be warm again this weekend, but I am hoping that things will start settling into the lower temperatures soon....
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
September
September was one crazy busy month! In my last post I was getting ready for fall and had found a treasure trove of energy to help me through it. That energy did not last long after that day, but I am glad that I was able to get so much done when I did have it. That is a lesson to take advantage of my "good energy" days.
My last post was on the third and that upcoming weekend was the Lobster Festival. I get some extra money by stuffing the will call tickets, it is not too taxing a job. I go to my friend's house, she is in charge of the ticket pre-sales, I get a printed sheet of name labels with the amount and type of tickets ordered. I sit on the couch with boxes of blank envelopes and rolls of tickets. First, I put the name label on the envelope and then I put the corresponding tickets into the envelope and make sure everything is alphabetized. I usually stuff tickets on the Wednesday and Thursday before the Festival since it starts on Friday. I wind up with an average of 4 boxes of tickets.
This time it was different. Tickets had been sold on Amazon local and the numbers doubled the usual count of tickets I stuff. Plus there were also two new tickets that could be sold for a lobster roll and lobster on a stick. That gave me five different tickets and double the amount of tickets. I worked as fast as I could but I still only made it through the letter "L" after six hours. I knew I would have to be over even earlier the next day, not only to catch up from where I left off, but there would also be more ticket orders that had come in since the day before that also needed to be stuffed and alphabetized. I arrived around noon and started working. I did not finish until 10pm, by that time my eyes were starting to cross from looking at the same tickets. I wound up with a grand total of eight boxes full, twice the usual amount. That was much more exhausting than the usual ticket stuffing.
On Saturday I went down to the Lobster Festival. I arrived around 10am to help with setting up the ephoto booth. Not only is my friend the graphic designer and in charge of ticket pre-sales, she also has an ephoto booth that she works at during the three days of the festival. I did not go down on Friday, I had things to do, including continuing my job search and some errands to run. I usually only go down to the festivals for one day, it is all I can handle. I don't really do much at the festival other than help with set up and occasionally I will walk around the festival taking pics for the website. At least I got some lobster! yum! I think the heat really gets to me the longer I stay at a festival and it takes me a couple of days to recover. My body really can't handle the heat at all anymore. I get overheated and then start feeling sick. I spend a few hours at the festival and then head home.
As I suspected, I was really not feeling well by the time I got home. It took me two days to really recover and start feeling good again. At least the festivals were over for the year.
I found out that my ex boyfriend's aunt had been diagnosed with leiomyosarcoma, which is a smooth muscle cancer. Hers was located on her uterus, so she had to get the same surgery as I had, a radical hysterectomy. Her cancer is very rare and the doctors don't really know much about it so her treatment will be different from mine. Since I am the only one that really knows what she is going through, I have been talking to her about her treatment and her fears. She is really having a hard time coping with it, especially since someone close to her passed away from cancer the year before. I am glad that my story and experiences can help her. I have managed to calm her fears as much as they can be calmed considering the treatments she is going through. I told her to call me anytime, that she was not going through this alone. I am glad that I can help others that are going through something like this. I did not have anyone that really understood what I was going through. I had support and love from friends and family, but no one really understood. That is why people that are going through cancer really need to connect with others that are going through the same kind of cancer. I am a member of several groups on Facebook for survivors and people that are just starting their journey. We can be there for each other, it really makes a difference.
Somehow, during these past two weeks, I did get enough energy to be able to finish going through my final bookcase. I have a couple more things that I want to do, like cleaning the linen closet and the fridge and then I will be ready for the holidays. One step at a time and I will get there...
On Saturday I went down to the Lobster Festival. I arrived around 10am to help with setting up the ephoto booth. Not only is my friend the graphic designer and in charge of ticket pre-sales, she also has an ephoto booth that she works at during the three days of the festival. I did not go down on Friday, I had things to do, including continuing my job search and some errands to run. I usually only go down to the festivals for one day, it is all I can handle. I don't really do much at the festival other than help with set up and occasionally I will walk around the festival taking pics for the website. At least I got some lobster! yum! I think the heat really gets to me the longer I stay at a festival and it takes me a couple of days to recover. My body really can't handle the heat at all anymore. I get overheated and then start feeling sick. I spend a few hours at the festival and then head home.
As I suspected, I was really not feeling well by the time I got home. It took me two days to really recover and start feeling good again. At least the festivals were over for the year.
I found out that my ex boyfriend's aunt had been diagnosed with leiomyosarcoma, which is a smooth muscle cancer. Hers was located on her uterus, so she had to get the same surgery as I had, a radical hysterectomy. Her cancer is very rare and the doctors don't really know much about it so her treatment will be different from mine. Since I am the only one that really knows what she is going through, I have been talking to her about her treatment and her fears. She is really having a hard time coping with it, especially since someone close to her passed away from cancer the year before. I am glad that my story and experiences can help her. I have managed to calm her fears as much as they can be calmed considering the treatments she is going through. I told her to call me anytime, that she was not going through this alone. I am glad that I can help others that are going through something like this. I did not have anyone that really understood what I was going through. I had support and love from friends and family, but no one really understood. That is why people that are going through cancer really need to connect with others that are going through the same kind of cancer. I am a member of several groups on Facebook for survivors and people that are just starting their journey. We can be there for each other, it really makes a difference.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Fall!
I don't know where I got my energy from today, but I am not questioning it!! I noticed that on the days that my feet are not swollen, though that is not too often, I have lots more energy. The backed up lymph must really drain my energy. I must take advantage of my good days when they come up. I have gotten so much done today! I am not quite done, but my house is just about ready for the holiday season.
I started this morning with throwing sheets and blankets into the laundry while I had my coffee. Coffee...the most important start to my day! Once that was done, I threw it into the dryer and started another load of laundry. While that was going I started to tackle my deck. I have a small barbeque grill out there that I have barely used this summer, I cleaned it and put it into storage and then swept the deck. All the leaves that have blown on there were driving me crazy but I never had the energy to take care of it. Well, it is done now!
Time to tackle the rest of the apartment. I took my fresh sheets out of the dryer and put them on the bed....I love fresh sheets...can't wait until bedtime! That finished I started on the bathroom, I really only needed to wipe down the mirrors, the counter, clean the toilet and sweep and wash the floor. I have found a time saving tip on Pinterest to keep my shower clean all the time. I keep a soap dispensing brush in my shower, I filled it with Dawn dishwashing liquid and vinegar. Now the first day it smelled pretty strong, but after I shook it up a lot it mixed and has been fine. After every shower I run the brush across the walls and glass doors and floor of my tub and I don't have to worry about cleaning it with harsh chemicals. Saves time and energy.
Now vinegar is pretty thin so you want to fill the brush with the Dawn first and then add the vinegar. Shake well to mix and leave in or near tub for a quick clean every time you shower.
Finished the bathroom and it is on to dusting and fallifying. I use cloth napkins in fall colors to give my home that fall feel. Adding some silk fall leaves from the craft store in glass vases with a fall themed bow really make the room pop with color. This is an example of some of the fallifying I did today.
It really gets me in the mood for fall and even if the temperatures are still summery outside, at least in my house it can be fall!
I can't believe I still have energy after all I have done already. I am almost done with my house! I quickly vaccuumed and put away my laundry. The only room left to tackle is the kitchen. I think I have almost reached the end of my energy today. I will take a break and have some lunch and see if I can get the rest done.........
In the meantime, not only is my house almost clean, but it is almost de-cluttered too. I only need to finish going through the last bookcase and the kitchen cupboards and I am ready for the holidays! Of course, I still need to get some of these boxes down to the garage and sort the ones that I meant to donate a few years ago before the cancer. There will be two piles when I am done, one for the library and one for Goodwill. Once the house is done and the temperatures stay down I can get that done and get rid of my clutter. Soon.........
I started this morning with throwing sheets and blankets into the laundry while I had my coffee. Coffee...the most important start to my day! Once that was done, I threw it into the dryer and started another load of laundry. While that was going I started to tackle my deck. I have a small barbeque grill out there that I have barely used this summer, I cleaned it and put it into storage and then swept the deck. All the leaves that have blown on there were driving me crazy but I never had the energy to take care of it. Well, it is done now!
Time to tackle the rest of the apartment. I took my fresh sheets out of the dryer and put them on the bed....I love fresh sheets...can't wait until bedtime! That finished I started on the bathroom, I really only needed to wipe down the mirrors, the counter, clean the toilet and sweep and wash the floor. I have found a time saving tip on Pinterest to keep my shower clean all the time. I keep a soap dispensing brush in my shower, I filled it with Dawn dishwashing liquid and vinegar. Now the first day it smelled pretty strong, but after I shook it up a lot it mixed and has been fine. After every shower I run the brush across the walls and glass doors and floor of my tub and I don't have to worry about cleaning it with harsh chemicals. Saves time and energy.
Finished the bathroom and it is on to dusting and fallifying. I use cloth napkins in fall colors to give my home that fall feel. Adding some silk fall leaves from the craft store in glass vases with a fall themed bow really make the room pop with color. This is an example of some of the fallifying I did today.
It really gets me in the mood for fall and even if the temperatures are still summery outside, at least in my house it can be fall!
I can't believe I still have energy after all I have done already. I am almost done with my house! I quickly vaccuumed and put away my laundry. The only room left to tackle is the kitchen. I think I have almost reached the end of my energy today. I will take a break and have some lunch and see if I can get the rest done.........
In the meantime, not only is my house almost clean, but it is almost de-cluttered too. I only need to finish going through the last bookcase and the kitchen cupboards and I am ready for the holidays! Of course, I still need to get some of these boxes down to the garage and sort the ones that I meant to donate a few years ago before the cancer. There will be two piles when I am done, one for the library and one for Goodwill. Once the house is done and the temperatures stay down I can get that done and get rid of my clutter. Soon.........
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Job Hunting Made...Difficult
Having both lymphedema and coccydynia has made a difficult job more difficult. Yes, I am talking about finding a job. I have to take both of these issues into consideration when I apply for a position. I can't sit for long periods of time because of the coccydynia, and on really bad days the inflammation can be so bad that I have to lay on my side on the couch. Try explaining that to a boss! The lymphedema is another story.... I can't be on my feet for long periods of time, and at this point I only have a pair of sandals that I can get on my feet. I will have to start experimenting with my shoes when the weather gets cooler. I also need to put my feet up as much as I can, especially on really swollen days. One more thing that is kind of hard to explain to a boss in a normal work environment.
My options have come down to trying to find a job that I can do from home. I know that not everyone is suited to work at home with all the distractions that can occur. I am very focused, so for me, that is not an issue. Translating my skills that I used at Barnes & Noble to a home based job should not be difficult either. I found a job that I like, but it is a start-up company and it is not really at a position where it will be making money yet. What I really like is that I can do as much work as I want on my own time schedule, and the job is doing internet research, which I love. I really hope that this turns out to be a viable source of income in time. In the meantime, I am still sending out my resume and applying for whatever jobs I am qualified for.
Enough of this serious business...Summer is almost over and Autumn is on the way. Labor Day is the unofficial end of summer and for me that means it is time to start decorating my house in fall colors. I have been working on, I guess you can call it, a pre-Holiday cleaning. I am de-cluttering my house, there are three piles right now, garbage, give to goodwill, and donate to library. I am taking on one room at a time and once this is done my house will be clean and organized again. Not that I don't have a clean and organized house, I am kind of OCD, everything in its place. Every once in a while, I get bored with things being the same and I feel the need to change it up some, and I am at that point right now. Working for Barnes&Noble, I have soooooooooo many books! Twenty-two years worth of books. The last time I got rid of half my books was before I moved to California in 2001, it is definitely time to get rid of books again. I have three book cases full of books
(This is my bookcase after I cleared one out completely. They all looked like the middle one.)
As you can see, it was time to get rid of some books. I plan on clearing out two full bookcases and taking the middle one down to just my favorite authors. At this point, I am at stage two, the two end book cases are cleared, the only one left is the middle one. I hope to work on it over the weekend. I know some people are sad that I am getting rid of so many books, but what good are they doing sitting on my shelf. Someone else can be enjoying them, and the library could really use the donations. The cleaning goes on and one day soon my house will be ready for fall...............
My options have come down to trying to find a job that I can do from home. I know that not everyone is suited to work at home with all the distractions that can occur. I am very focused, so for me, that is not an issue. Translating my skills that I used at Barnes & Noble to a home based job should not be difficult either. I found a job that I like, but it is a start-up company and it is not really at a position where it will be making money yet. What I really like is that I can do as much work as I want on my own time schedule, and the job is doing internet research, which I love. I really hope that this turns out to be a viable source of income in time. In the meantime, I am still sending out my resume and applying for whatever jobs I am qualified for.
(This is my bookcase after I cleared one out completely. They all looked like the middle one.)
As you can see, it was time to get rid of some books. I plan on clearing out two full bookcases and taking the middle one down to just my favorite authors. At this point, I am at stage two, the two end book cases are cleared, the only one left is the middle one. I hope to work on it over the weekend. I know some people are sad that I am getting rid of so many books, but what good are they doing sitting on my shelf. Someone else can be enjoying them, and the library could really use the donations. The cleaning goes on and one day soon my house will be ready for fall...............
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Why is My Ankle Swollen?
Sometime towards the end of 2011 I began to notice that my right foot/ankle area was swollen. I was not too concerned because I had issues with that ankle previously. I had sprained that ankle in 2006, not a bad sprain, but enough to weaken the ankle. I was fine for a few years, the ankle had healed and I had no issues. In December of 2008 I was checking my email, like I did every morning before I went to work. My cat was sitting in my lap and I guess he must have caused my leg to fall asleep. Usually you can tell when your leg falls asleep, you get that tingling or numbness, I guess it was not quite at that point where I would notice that it was asleep, but enough that some of the feeling was gone in my leg. I finished checking my email and was getting up to grab my keys and jacket to head to work. I got up and stepped forward on my right leg, not realizing that it was partially asleep, instead of landing with my foot flat on the floor the foot was tilted. As I stepped down on it, the foot went all the way over so I landed on my ankle.
!!!!! The pain was excruciating!!!! I was sure I had broken it! I was able to drive to work and planned to head over to urgent care as soon as they opened. They were located right near work so I figured I might as well be close. I was not able to step on my right foot at all, I could only step on the ball of my foot. As soon as they opened, I headed over to Urgent Care. They took some X-Rays and determined that it was not broken, just a very severe sprain. There are three levels of sprains:
Grade 1 sprain is defined as mild damage to a ligament or ligaments without instability of the affected joint.
Grade 2 sprain is considered a partial tear to the ligament, in which it is stretched to the point that it becomes loose.
Grade 3 sprain is a complete tear of a ligament, causing instability in the affected joint.[3] Usually bruising will occur around the ankle.
I had a level 3 sprain. They wrapped my ankle and gave me some crutches to use. Now I have to tell you that the crutches were never going to work. I have no coordination at all, and I could not get the hang of using the crutches. I decided that limping on the ball of my foot was going to have to work. By the next day the bruising started. My entire foot and ankle on both sides was completely bruised and swollen.
It took about a month to be able to walk on my foot normally again. My ankle was weakened by this experience, so much that I had to get an ankle brace to wear when it really started giving me problems.
Since my ankle was weak and occasionally gave me problems I did not really think anything when I began to notice occasional swelling in late 2011. The swelling was only occasionally and was gone within a day or so, so it did not seem too bad. I assumed that I must have stepped on it wrong and irritated the already weak tendons. The new year rolled around and I still had the occasional swelling, I don't think I really thought anything was wrong until early March. Now the swelling seemed to be occurring more frequently and lasting longer. It was still only in my right foot at this point, but I finally began to realize that this was not from the sprain. For one thing it did not really hurt. I also noticed that my right shoes were giving me problems and the top of my foot was really irritated when I wore them. Sometime around the end of March I noticed that my left ankle was also starting to swell. OK, now I was concerned. I still had no health insurance, so I applied for a few, but was turned down due to pre-existing conditions. There was a pre-existing conditions insurance, but I needed to have no insurance for 6 months to apply. So going to a doctor was out at this point. Time to do some research. I researched my symptoms and one thing kept coming up, Lymphedema.
Lymphedema refers to swelling that generally occurs in one of your arms or legs. Although lymphedema tends to affect just one arm or leg, sometimes both arms or both legs may be swollen.
Lymphedema is caused by a blockage in your lymphatic system, an important part of your immune and circulatory systems. The blockage prevents lymph fluid from draining well, and as the fluid builds up, the swelling continues. Lymphedema is most commonly caused by the removal of or damage to your lymph nodes as a part of cancer treatment.
There's no cure for lymphedema, but it can be controlled. Controlling lymphedema involves diligent care of your affected limb.(Mayo Clinic)
Now it began to make sense. I had lymph nodes removed as part of my surgery. From all that I was reading, lymphedema usually starts to occur about two years after surgery, and this was two years so it was right on time. Lymphedema can't be cured, but it can be managed. I began to try and learn all that I could do to manage it.
There's no cure for lymphedema. Treatment focuses on reducing the swelling and controlling the pain. Lymphedema treatments include:
- Exercises. Light exercises that require you to move your affected arm or leg may encourage movement of the lymph fluid out of your limb. These exercises shouldn't be strenuous or make you tired. Instead, they should focus on gentle contraction of the muscles in your arm or leg. Your doctor or a physical therapist can teach you exercises that may help.
- Wrapping your arm or leg. Bandages wrapped around your entire limb encourage lymph fluid to flow back out of your affected limb and toward the trunk of your body. When bandaging your arm or leg, start by making the bandage tightest around your fingers and toes. Wrap the bandage more loosely as you move up your arm or leg. A lymphedema therapist can show you how to wrap your limb.
- Massage. A special massage technique called manual lymph drainage may encourage the flow of lymph fluid out of your arm or leg. Manual lymph drainage involves special hand strokes on your affected limb to gently move lymph fluid to healthy lymph nodes, where it can drain. Massage isn't for everyone. Avoid massage if you have a skin infection, active cancer, blood clots or congestive heart failure. Also avoid massage on areas of your body that have received radiation therapy.
- Pneumatic compression. If you receive pneumatic compression, you'll wear a sleeve over your affected arm or leg. The sleeve is connected to a pump that intermittently inflates the sleeve, putting pressure on your limb. The inflated sleeve gently moves lymph fluid away from your fingers or toes, reducing the swelling in your arm or leg.
- Compression garments. Compression garments include long sleeves or stockings made to compress your arm or leg to encourage the flow of the lymph fluid out of your affected limb. Once you've reduced swelling in your arm or leg through other measures, your doctor may suggest you wear compression garments to prevent your limb from swelling in the future. Obtain a correct fit for your compression garment by getting professional help — ask your doctor where you can buy compression garments in your community. Some people will require custom-made compression garments.
When several of these treatments are combined, this therapy may be referred to as complete decongestive therapy (CDT). Generally, CDT isn't recommended for people who have high blood pressure, diabetes, paralysis, heart failure, blood clots or acute infections.
In cases of severe lymphedema, your doctor may consider surgery to remove excess tissue in your arm or leg. While this reduces severe swelling, surgery can't cure lymphedema. (Mayo Clinic)
(this is actually my foot)
Well, I bought some compression socks and found some videos on Youtube that showed me how to massage my lymph swelling. Summer tends to be the worst time because the heat may cause more swelling than during the rest of the year. These are the summertime instructions! :O
Many people with lymphedema find that their affected limb(s) swell more in the summer because of the heat. It's important to stay cool. If possible, be sure that you are in well air-conditioned places while indoors. Try to limit the time you spend outside during the hotter parts of the day, between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m.
If you do get hot, you need to try to cool your whole body as soon as possible. Cool or lukewarm showers or baths work better than very cold water. If you're hot, but it's not possible at that moment to get into a shower or tub, at least cool off your affected limb by wrapping a cold wet towel around it and elevating it with support. To avoid getting your compression garment wet, place a plastic garbage bag between your garment and the towel, encasing either your limb or the towel. Some people prefer to cool off by dampening the garment itself. If you do this, be sure that the garment dries in a reasonable amount of time and that there is no chafing of the skin, especially at the joint creases.
Drink lots of water, even more than you do in the winter, to help keep yourself well hydrated. This makes it easier for your body to regulate its temperature. Even if salty foods don't normally affect your swelling, they may be more likely to in the summer. For crunchy snacks, go for fresh raw vegetables instead of potato chips.
Wear light, loose, non-constricting clothing. Not only will it be cooler; it is also better for the free flow of your lymphatic system. Because of the tendency of lymphedematous limbs to swell more in the summer; clothes and underwear that fit well in the winter may be too tight for summer wear. Check each day to be sure that the edges of your clothing do not leave indentations in your skin. Do not wear the item if it leaves indentations - it can constrict some of your delicate superficial lymphatic system. Moreover, looser, non-constricting clothing will allow more air circulation so that perspiration and moisture won't be trapped next to your body. http://www.lymphnet.org
So management of this issue was going to be something that would take time and planning. This was not going to be easy. I had already determined that most of the shoes that I own had to go. I would not be able to wear them again with the swelling. I was down to a handful of shoes and I did not even know if those few would work. They tended to be the roomiest of my shoes, so I would wait for fall and see if they worked. The only shoes I could really wear at this point were my sandals. They have velcro for both straps across the foot so I could make it as loose as I need it to be. Now having my shoes loose is presenting another problem for me, my feet keep cramping. Foot cramps tend to happen when you wear shoes that don't really fit right, your foot has to work extra hard to keep the shoe on. Since I could not wear my shoes where they fit snuggly, I will have constant foot cramps when I wear shoes.
So this is where I am right now. I deal with the issues of both Lymphedema and Coccydynia. I guess they are a small price to pay to be cancer free, but my life is more complicated now. I can't just get up and go somewhere, I always have to think about what kind of circumstances I will come across and will I be prepared. Time will tell how this all works out....
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